Bittersweet Coffee
by pijar.religia
Summary: If loving you is something that I could never do, then I guess I would like not to see you anymore…
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Detective Conan. All characters belong to Gosho Aoyama**

**Chapter Summary: **"…If you saw a problem in my way of answering questions, would you please not giving me anymore questions?"

**Words: **1885

**Author's Note: **Well, I am going with a new English chapter when I have known that I have not finished 'Because you are not mine-English version'. I think I am going to finish the Indonesian version first before continuing the English one, hahaha…

Oh yes, and this new story will go as multiple chapters, maybe only for 2 or 3 chapters. I just couldn't manage to finish the story straight in one chapter. Ok then, enjoy reading XD. 

**Bittersweet Coffee**

**Chapter 1****  
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_If loving you is something that I could never do, then I guess I would like not to see you anymore…  
_

"So, how are you doing today?" asked the man while carrying a small cup of hot coffee. He just had finished making his own favorite beverage and added a little sugar.

Another long day had passed and he just wanted to enjoy himself with a cup of nice coffee while sitting on a jade colored couch. He blew the hot steam coming from the not-very-strong black coffee.

Looking at the slowly vanishing hot steam, intuitively he also saw the black color of his drink; dark, deep, and mysterious. Just like the old times, he never could understand the blackness of black. Although he had finished the lifeline of the biggest crime syndicate known in the world quite a long time ago, he could never understand it…

…Yes, five years is not quite a long time to understand such a difficult thing, is it?

"I am doing just fine…Living a monotone life is not that uninteresting for me," a melodious voice answered his question. Hearing the answer, the young man chuckled and put his cup on the coffee table in front of him. He leaned his back against the couch and his eyes staring at the ceiling.

"Not uninteresting, you said?" he gave one more chuckling. "You know what? Your answer sounded different in my ears…"

"And what did my 'another' voice say to your ears?" that melodious voice asked back, now with offensive tone. Besides that voice, he also could hear sound of tinkle which he guessed coming from a spoon the person used to stir something.

"It said 'I am the most bored human being in the world!' and 'I have had enough of this, it will be okay if someone can put my life to an end now,'" the young man finished his lines with laughter.

The person he talked to was sighing. "Guess what, Mr. Detective? You did not sound that funny to my ears," now the voice sounded to keep its temper and the spoon's tinkle sound was not there anymore.

"Oh, come on, Shiho! It was a joke and you can't angry that easily!" the young detective turned his head so he could look at the slender figure standing in front of the kitchen table. He showed a grin on his face, trying to ensure the woman that he really was just kidding.

He then stared at the mature woman after she turned her body away from facing the kitchen table. A young scientist stood there, with all the graces God has given to a living being called woman; soft strawberry blonde hair still in her short style, green-grayish eyes that always looked so calm, sleeveless maroon t-shirt and light blue short pants covering her matured body, her white smooth skin and long slender legs with a pair of house slipper. He did not even believe that he had known her for years.

The figure he called Shiho, stood while holding a regular-sized red ceramic cup. She stared him lazily, clearly showing that she was in no mood for his 'jokes'.

"A few minutes ago, I thought that it would be nice to have someone to talk to this evening, while I would be doing some analysis on my report. But, now I have changed my mind…" Shiho replied sharply. The detective was flustered.

"I am going to the basement. Enjoy yourself, Kudo."

Shiho walked with a hand still holding a cup, passing the couch where Shinichi was seating on.

"Stay."

"What?" Shiho stopped her steps and turned her head towards Shinichi. She found Shinichi was staring at her deeply.

"Stay here with me…"

Shiho gulped and felt some uneasiness on the man that just asked her to stay. Thinking that just stood on her now position would not ease her heart, she walked hesitantly, closed the distance between them and sat on the couch's hand.

"Are you afraid of me?" Shinichi asked amusingly.

"Why should I?" Shiho asked back quickly.

"Then, why are you sitting on the couch's hand? This is your property and your house, Shiho. You should be the most comfortable man in this place," Shinichi tried to assure his stubborn partner. Shiho, did not care for what Shinichi had said, was taking a sip of her still hot black coffee. For her, it would be best to keep their distance just like this.

"Oh, come on, Shiho!" Shinichi scratched his head, having no idea about her behavior. The strawberry blonde woman put her cup on the coffee table, trying to pay no attention to Shinichi's reaction.

Feeling dejected, Shinichi grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand. He pulled her just with appropriate power, so she would not bump too hard on the couch. She fell smoothly right on the couch with her head slammed softly on his chest.

"It is a nice position to have nice little talk, isn't it?" Shinichi lifted her chin slowly and stared at the jade eyes.

Shiho stared back to the blue eyes and smirked. "What do you want to talk about, Mr. Flirty Detective? I can assure you that I will listen to you carefully if you let go of my hand."

Shinichi burst out laughing and released his partner's chin after he had calmed down. Still holding out his laughter, Shinichi raised his right hand which is gripping Shiho's left hand.

"Alright, alright…here," Shinichi released Shiho's hand and finally stop laughing. "Then, you will listen to me, won't you?"

"Just tell me, already. There are still many things to do tonight, so please make it quick," Shiho reached out her right hand and was about taking her coffee cup.

"Well, I'll tell you." Shinichi cleared his throat and continued. "Mmm, Shiho…I think…I am getting married-!"

CRASH!

"Shiho!" Shinichi shouted, took back Shiho's hand that unconsciously loosed the cup from its grip. The cup scattered on the floor into pieces, along with the black coffee.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked Shinichi with concerned voice.

Shiho bent her head down, eyes hindered by her long bangs. Somewhat, she felt an odd feeling that she had never felt before. It was like a pang that you would feel when you stepped on a nail; a pang that becomes an ache. Then, it becomes a pain that will be still there even though it has actually lost the scar. Strange, she really had never felt this way before. She asked around her mind, tried to find the reason of sudden ache deep in her heart.

What was it?

Why did it feel so damn painful?

"Shiho? Shiho!" Shinichi shook her shoulders slightly, jerked her from her own thoughts.

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" now Shinichi was worried about the young woman sitting beside him very much; face looked flustered and eyes stared blankly. Shiho who had aware of Shinichi's raising voice, turned her head and tried to answer Shinichi. Husky voice was all that came out from her lips.

"…No, I didn't…I mean-," her lips parted slightly, trying to catch her breath while the pang in her chest didn't seem to disappear soon. Shinichi narrowed his eyes, watching Shiho's expression carefully to understand her reaction just before.

"When?"

"Huh?"

"When…are you getting married?" she asked now with a firm voice.

Shinichi gasped while his hands were still on Shiho's shoulders.

"Did you just asked, when I am getting married?" Shinichi asked, gaping at the strawberry blonde. "Instead of asking who I am going to marry?"

"What for? It has been clear who you are going to marry. Everyone knows about that," Shiho put a little sarcasm in her answer and forced a smile on her face. Shinichi showed a wide grin.

"Wow! I don't know that my behaviors could show everyone who the one is I really intended. I am surely a clueless man. Somehow, I feel a little embarrassed."

"…Yes, you really are…you really are clueless…"

Shiho rose from the couch and walked to a closet near the kitchen to get a plastic bag, dust shovel, and a broom. She got back to the place where the cup pieces were scattered and kneeling down to clean them. Shinichi just looked at Shiho as she was doing her cleaning.

"Need some help?"

"No, I can manage it myself."

There was an awkward silence between them for awhile.

Shiho had just finished the cleaning and stood up to throw away the garbage she just collected. After put the cleaning equipments back to the closet, she walked to the kitchen table, making another cup of coffee.

"Are you making another one?" she heard Shinichi asking, flustered.

"Yes, I am. What? You want another one too?" she asked back without turning her head.

"No…"

Again, Shinichi felt another terrible silence took place in the room. He gulped, trying to calm himself from the unknown gloomy aura.

"Mmm, Shiho?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am."

He felt a slight of untruth in her answer. Shinichi cleared his throat.

"…You look unhappy…"

"I am not. That's just how you feel…"

"But, you answered my questions briefly."

"It is always the same way I answer any questions, not only for your questions. See a problem?"

"Yes."

Shiho's right hand that was stirring her new-made coffee, stopped abruptly. A loud cling heard in the silence. She inhaled a deep breath before throwing another sharp argument to the young detective in the living room.

"…If you saw a problem in my way of answering questions, would you please not giving me anymore questions?"

Hearing the question, Shinichi didn't answer anything. He just stared the back of that twenty-three years old woman blankly. For a short time, he wished that he didn't say anything about that damn marriage thing.

Seeing no reaction from the strawberry blonde, he sighed and stood from the couch, taking his coat and walked silently to the front door.

"I guess there's no more necessity for me to stay here. I am going home…Shiho." Once again, Shinichi stared at the woman's back, hoping that she would turn her head and said a simple 'good bye' or 'good night' to him. But, nothing happened. The blonde just stayed at her place without even moving slightly.

Shinichi took the door's handle in his hand and threw a smile to his friend, although he knew that she would not know that he was smiling.

"Good night, Shiho…Don't stay up too late."

A click of the door's locking was heard in the woman's ears. Yes, the detective had a duplicate key since quite a long time, just in case that she was overslept in the morning and he need to wake her up to go to work.

But, she was not thinking that he would even bother to come the next day to wake her up…again.

When Shiho was sure that the sounds of the detective's steps were no longer been heard, she walked to coffee table. She just wanted to take the small cup Shinichi had his coffee in before, when she realized that Shinichi didn't finish his coffee as usual.

Her hand that held the cup was trembling slightly…and a tear fell off her pale cheek.

That night, three cups of coffee had been gone to waste…

**To be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Detective Conan. All characters belong to Gosho Aoyama**

**.**

**Chapter Summary: **"You did ask me if I miss Ran, didn't you?" Shinichi asked suddenly after sometime of silence between them. Shiho didn't answer anything again. But, she could know that Shinichi was smiling right now.

"I miss her. Truly miss her."

**Words: **2912

**Author's Note: **Finally, a NEW CHAPTER! After the last time I made a fanfiction about a year ago, and update this fic, since…I forgot.

I am building back my passion in writing fanfic right now…still seeking for the feeling that I always have when making one.

So, here is Bittersweet Coffee Ch 2. The fanfic that I love most to write because I am thinking the each sentence that I made. The feeling that I want to build here…doubt, hurt, confusion, I want to make sure they will all appear here nicely. This story will end in the next chapter. Hope, I will make it fast.

Well, have a nice reading!

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**Bittersweet Coffee**

**Chapter 2**

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There she was, standing in the crowd with hands clutching her hand bag. Her green-grayish eyes stared blankly on the beautiful scene before her; two persons were standing face to face, holding hands, and swearing their vows. Their eyes were full of love and their smile looked embarrassed but filled with sincerity.

"…in sickness and in health, until death do us apart…"

She smiled bitterly on the last sentence.

The priest then said his blessing aloud with his deep voice. But, some words like 'God has joined' and 'men must not divide' were no longer can be heard in her ears. She was busy…so busy holding back her tears that listening to the blessing seems quite difficult for now.

"_Mmm, Shiho…I think…I am getting married."_

She closed her eyes, trying to throw away the voice in her head just now. But, it was still there, repeating like a broken tape recorder. She was willing to do anything just to forget it, but she can't. Right now, she just hoped that many other sounds around her would fade it away.

Things were going fast. After the priest gave his blessing, the happy couple put a plain gold ring on each other's ring finger. Everybody smiled on this sacral moment and clapped their hands when the groom gave his bride a single kiss on her lips. But, Shiho just stared them absent-mindedly. Although she clapped her hands like the other people did, it seemed like she was not in her place.

"The groom is very handsome in that tux."

A voice snapped her back to reality. She turned her head and saw two girls were standing not far off her. The girls were staring at the altar joyfully.

"Yeah, and did you see the bride? She really is a lucky woman to have that famous detective as her husband."

"She is very beautiful…I hope they will live happily ever after, just like an ending of many fairytales."

The other girl nodded, agree with her friend's opinion.

Unintentionally listening to the conversation, the early-twenty years' old woman turned her attention to the altar, just like the two young girls were doing right at the moment. There, she saw the couple was walking through the virgin road to the church's gates. After arriving at the opened church's gates, the white-gowned bride was ready to throw her wedding bouquet.

Immediately, all of the girls attending the ceremony ran to have a good distance from the church's gate so they can luckily get the long-awaited bouquet from the bride. Loud cheers came from these girls were still heard, even after the vow and the kiss.

Finally, the bride turned her body and stood with her back facing all of the girls that waiting for the bouquet. After counting to three, she threw the bouquet passing her head and all of the girls extend their hands to catch the beautiful rose bouquet. Some of them even tried to hop so they could reach the bouquet.

But, the bouquet kept passing from hand to hand because the girls were all too excited of this moment. Not a single hand could grasp the bouquet. Some girls still cheering when they thought that they were catching it but, not long after, some disappointed sigh and murmur could be heard coming from their lips.

Then, the noisy cheers and sigh stopped abruptly when the bouquet was caught by a pair of slender hands.

All the girls and women stared at the strawberry blonde woman who is staring at the bouquet blankly.

"Lucky hands you have, don't you?" a deep voice asked her mockingly. She turned her head and found a man stand there beside her. His usual grin was there on his face, between mocking and giving her congrats. Still had not come back from her wandering mind, she glared the man before her.

"What? I had enough of your mocking already," her voice didn't sound relaxed.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I am not mocking you or anything. I was really referring to that bouquet in your hands."

Hearing that answer, Shiho saw her hands and found a very beautiful bouquet in her grip. She blinked her eyes fast and just realized that she really got that bouquet. Shiho, feeling embarrassed that she had been mad without a clear reason, threw the bouquet to the man spontaneously.

"Here, take this. I don't even want it at all," accused her coldly. She just wanted to turn her back when a woman with her wedding gown was approaching her with a wide smile on her face.

"Miyano-san! You caught the bouquet, didn't you?" asked her happily, although she had known the answer already.

"I didn't intend to catch it. My hands just received something came out of nowhere," she answered unwillingly.

"Oh, come on! It is not something you should be upset about. This is their wedding ceremony. Try to be nice once in awhile, won't you?" Shinichi said in whisper to Shiho and gave the bouquet back to her. "Here, it is yours. Right, Toyama-san?"

Kazuha nodded her head happily, giving agreement.

"Hey, she is no longer Toyama now," a voice joined their conversation. "She is Hattori now. Hattori Kazuha, my wife."

There the new couple was standing in front of her. Hattori Heiji and now called Hattori Kazuha looked very grateful and blessed after having their wedding ceremony held. Heiji put his hand around his wife's waist and Kazuha was leaning her head to her man's upper hand. Their feeling was reflected clearly when she saw the happy smile on their face.

"Congratulations for your marriage, Mr. and Mrs. Hattori," Shinichi bowed his head, congratulating his best friend. "I wish you happiness always."

"Congratulations, Hattori-san," Shiho bowed her head, gripping the bouquet that was already back in her hands.

"Thank you, Kudo-san, Miyano-san. I have never been happier than now. Knowing that my life partner would be around me this whole time, I feel that I can recall all the things that we have been through until now. I could even tell those stories to you right now if you don't mind listening to them for seven days straight," Kazuha said with her eyes sparkling of happiness.

"I would not mind listening to them," Shiho said politely with a smile. She tried to follow Shinichi's instruction just now, just not to ruin the good mood.

"Hey, you don't plan to cancel our honeymoon just to tell them those old stories, do you?" Heiji teased his wife, resulting in his wife sweet laughter.

"Of course not, dear. I was just kidding."

"You don't need to tell them, Kazuha-san. I have known all of them directly from your husband," Shinichi said with another grin on his face.

"Really? Is that true, Heiji?" Kazuha cannot believe that his so-insensitive-husband would do that kind of thing. It even took him years to realize his own feeling to her.

"Aaa, well," Heiji scratched his head. "I think that sort of thing happened once in the past. I just cannot remember it when."

"So you don't remember, huh?" Shinichi gave an evil grin. "I thought you told it to me the day before you proposed to her. If I didn't tell you frankly that you might be really in love with Kazuha-san and you should confess to her, maybe you would not be here right now."

"So, even you need the help from your friend to realize your own feeling. I really cannot expect much from you, aren't I?" Kazuha shook her head while giving a short sigh.

"Okay, I admit that I cannot realize it by myself," Heiji took Kazuha's hands and look directly into her eyes. "But, the most important thing is I realize it now."

Kazuha smiled softly hearing her husband's statement. "I know. I didn't blame you."

They looked at each other for quite awhile, and turning their attention when a middle-aged woman approached them.

"Kazuha, Heiji, come on. It's time already," the woman known as Hattori Shizuka said to her son and daughter-in law.

"Right away, Mom," Heiji took his wife's hand and turned his head back to where his friends are.

"Will you join us for the photo session?"

"Of course, we will," Shinichi answered brightly. He then took one of Shiho's hands in his hold, taking her to the photo session place where people have gathered. Feeling quite a shock, Shiho protested her old acquaintance.

"What are you doing?"

"I am taking you to photo session place, what else?" Shinichi answered without turning his head.

"Can you do it without taking and pulling my hand?" her voice became colder.

Shinichi was silent for a moment and then answered shortly, "I can't."

Shiho gasped, hearing that kind of answer and the way Shinichi put it. She didn't have any more intention to be stubborn, so she was just following where Shinichi went. But, being regarded like this…she somewhat felt ache in her heart.

Shinichi took her to one of the rows of people, not really far from the newly-weds. There they stood side by side, waiting the photographer to take photograph. People near them were all preparing their appearance that would be took in a photo. Even Shinichi had his hands on his tie, assuring it was in a good shape. Only Shiho that looking intensely to the bouquet she held as like it was something so strange she ever hold.

"Shiho, could you see this for a bit?" his voice snapped her from her quiet activity. She turned her head to know what Shinichi asked her.

"See what?"

"The tie…is it rightly put?"

Shiho looked at it quickly, and made Shinichi take the bouquet for her. "Here, take this."

Shinichi followed her instruction and let Shiho doing his tie with both of her hands.

"Geez, you are messing it up. It is better if you let it like it was," Shiho complained, concentrating on his messed tie.

"I just want to make it better, but I don't have any mirror to help me see it," Shinichi defended.

"Then, just ask me to do it from the first," she made a last knot. "Or you just should wear your bowtie like you always do."

"I just want to be different once in awhile…"

Shiho pulled his tie for last and put it into his coat. "Okay, finished."

"Aaa, thank you," he smiled, looking at his tie. "Here, your bouquet."

Shiho took it and nodded a little. They were back into their position and faced the direction of the camera, waiting the photographer to start his action.

"It would be nice if Mouri-san is here, wouldn't it?" Shiho suddenly said, her eyes looking into the space in front of her. Somehow, that question just came out of her mind and spoken without doubt from her lips. She felt so awkward beside him right now, and she needed something she could talk. But, when it was already said, she couldn't understand why she asked something like that, something that could be a sensitive talk for both of them.

Not really thinking the reason behind the question, Shinichi nodded. "Mmm, it would. She must be happy seeing her best friend finally getting married…"

"…Kazuha-san and Heiji-san will be happy too, won't they?"

Shinichi glanced at her a little. "They will."

"I wonder…what she is doing right now," Shiho gazed up, her strawberry blonde hair was blown softly by the wind.

"She is doing fine, I think. Nothing to worry—"

"Do you miss her?" Shiho cut Shinichi's sentence, looked at him with painful gaze in her eyes.

"Huh?"

"Do you…miss her?" she repeated her question.

Shinichi turned his head to Shiho and twitched his eyebrows. He didn't understand Shiho's strange behavior since this morning. When he came to her house to pick her up, she was fussing around whether to prepare a kitchen set or a bedcover set as a wedding present. She stopped when Shinichi told her just to prepare both of them. In the car, when they were going to the airport, until they were in the flight to Osaka, she kept silent and day-dreaming. Shinichi even needed to tap her shoulder more than three times to make her snapped out of her mind. When they arrived in the wedding ceremony place, she started to be bothered by many things. Her own dress, the crowd, the church bell, not to forget the wedding bouquet…she pouted and complained all the things around her. And just now she looked like a sentimental girl that worries much about other people, not to mention it is Ran. Is she getting her period?

"Aaa, Shiho, are you—," Shinichi stopped when he heard to the photographer's voice that asked the people to smile. The photographer was counting up…

"One!"

…when he took Shiho's shoulders,

"Two!"

…and make her faced the camera.

"Smile for this once, please," he whispered to Shiho's ear.

"Three!"

_Flash!_

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"Do you want to drink something, Sir, Ma'am?" a stewardess came to their seats pushing a drinking cart.

"Coffee…no sugar, please," Shiho answered with a smile.

"Right away, Ma'am," the stewardess put out a cup, preparing the order.

"Don't you want a drink?" Shiho asked to the man yawning beside her.

"No, let me have a sleep until landing. I must finish my report at home after this. I am not sure if I can finish it without having a sleep for awhile," he took off his coat and used it as a blanket. "Wake me up, okay?"

Shiho didn't respond at him, just sat there seeing he closed his eyes and fast asleep seconds after. She turned her attention when the stewardess hand her a cup of black coffee.

"Here's your coffee, Ma'am."

"Thank you," Shiho accepted the cup and put it on the seat table, beside the bouquet she got this afternoon.

"Pardon me, Ma'am. But, congratulations for your marriage," the stewardess said with a slight blushing face.

"Eh? Marriage?"

"You make such a great couple, Ma'am. I wish you and your man happiness," the stewardess said again. Shiho blink her eyes in confusion.

"But, I am not—,"

"Eh? You are not marrying! But, I thought…your dress and the bouquet…" the stewardess showed a regretful face. Hearing her respond, Shiho saw her dress and the bouquet.

"Ah, you mean this?" Shiho referred to the dress. "I became a maid of honor in my friend's wedding. I must admit it looks like a wedding dress, but I am not marrying. And the bouquet…I caught it in the ceremony."

"Oh, so it was like that. I am sorry for saying unnecessary thing," the stewardess bowed her head.

"It's OK. I should have changed my dress in the first place," Shiho gave a calm smile.

"But, you are so lucky to catch the bouquet, Ma'am," the stewardess prepared to move to another seat. "I wish you become the next wonderful bride. You two really make a nice couple…"

"—that's…"

"Have a nice flight," the stewardess left with a warm smile.

Watching the stewardess move to other seats, Shiho let a small sigh. She held the coffee cup with her hands and once again absorbed in the blackness of it. It's been sometime since she had a nice cup of coffee with the man beside her. Yeah, since that night…it had been awkward just to ask him to drink coffee together in their favorite café or in her place. She was too busy to restrain herself from shedding a tear, or worse…embracing him desperately. She once again engulfed in her pain, the same pain in her heart like when Shinichi finally answered her question after the photograph session.

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"_So, did you smile?" he asked her when they were walking to the wedding reception place, not far from the church._

"_I didn't," she answered lightly._

"_You didn't smile on your friends' wedding photo session? You are being weird," he let out a sigh._

"_I am," she said indifferently._

"_I don't know why you are acting like this, especially today. But, I am not in the mood to argue with you. This is a good day, and I want to have good memories of it," Shinichi said in a serious tone. Shiho didn't respond a thing. She just walked beside him, tried to catch up his pace, while losing her attention into the bouquet she was holding._

"_You did ask me if I miss Ran, didn't you?" Shinichi ask suddenly after sometime of silence between them. Shiho didn't answer anything again. But, she could know that Shinichi was smiling right now._

"_I miss her. Truly miss her."_

_Shiho gripped the bouquet more tightly._

"_But, I miss _you_ more…"_

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She emptied her cup of coffee in a time, after she let her mind wandering long…long enough to make the coffee became cold. It was the worst coffee she had ever had in her life.

The sudden gulp of that strong liquid made her head spinning a bit so she rest her head on the seat table in front of her. Hoping that the sudden dizziness would go away, she let a long sigh and finally closed her eyes. She didn't know if she could wake up before landing to wake Shinichi up from his sleep. What she knew just, she had a dream in that short slumber.

And in that very short dream, she saw herself having a cup of coffee with an old partner…

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**To be Continued**


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